Cyrillic was my very first foreign script. Although I knew of Greek letters and could probably recite them in order, they were in a mathematical context, so to speak, and as such I don’t take them in consideration here.
I was 17 when I borrowed my friend Natália’s Breve Manual de Língua Russa, by Nina Potapova. At that point I’d been studying English for many years and had already begun to get to know German better; even if interested in other languages by then, those were the only ones beyond a curiosity-moved threshold. And then, there it was, a door to Russian no less!
Last night I was leafing through it, and the memories just came flooding back – not only of just the book or of Russian itself, but actually of my whole life back then.
I’ve never really finished the book. Even a couple of years after I’d got it, I’d still ocassionaly sit and study it, until one day a Russian acquaintance I asked for help with the lessons told me she thought they sound off to her – either unnatural or even ungrammatical. I couldn’t judge that myself, but that did surprise me and I ended up putting the book aside for good. The impressions I got from it have lingered on though. For years to come, those Russian basics actually modelled my subjective idea of what Slavonic languages were about (which took some effort to tweak and correct in more than a few aspects), and its handwriting model has remained the basis of my own.
Or at least that’s what it’d always been! Because yesterday I sat down and decided to get back to Intensive Bulgarian, and suddenly Cyrillic didn’t seem to flow any more as it once did. I just stopped, Biro™ in hand, and it took me a conscious effort to ‘draw’ some of the letters, as my brain searched for the muscle memory I used to have. I found that shocking. Even worse – although there are handwritten examples/exercises in the book itself, they’re so different from what I taught myself back in my mid to late teens that mimicking them would just feel wrong somehow, as if I were trying to change my handwriting in Portuguese itself.
I think I’d never bothered learning whether Bulgarians might have any particular features in their handwriting that might distinguish them from Russians, for instance; on the other hand, although handwriting models do vary among countries and cultures using the same script, I just never change my own no matter which language I happen to be writing in (Portuguese, English, German, French, etc.), so I wasn’t sure that would make a difference either.
I did change some of my Cyrillic hand when I studied Serbian, and that felt natural somehow; on the other hand, my Latin hand remained the same in it regardless. Go figure!
I came to the computer and started googling for samples of Bulgarian and Cyrillic cursive in general. Learnt a couple of curious new things, but didn’t really identify at all with the vast majority of the materials I found. That’s when it dawned on me that I should return to the origins, and how I got back to having Nina Potapova’s book in my hands. I suppose I’m just meant to be comfortable with my 1960s Cyrillic handwriting style after all!